A Light in the Darkness
by Sweet Preserves
Summary: BJ goes to the front lines and gets hurt, Hawkeye and Margaret find comfort in each others arms. Chapter 3 added! But be warned, there may be a cliffhanger, so don't say I didn't warn ya! Also, some sexual humour, but nothin you haven't seen before!
1. Chapter 1

AN: For anyone who doesn't know me, I write HM, and well, as you can guess, this is an HM story, so if you don't like them, turn back now. This takes place during the war, after Frank has left and Charles is at the 4077th, and Margaret, Hawkeye and BJ are now close friends, but Radar is still here. I haven't decided if he I'll send him home like they do in the show cause I love the little guy : ) And now, without further ado, the story...  
  
Hawkeye sighed as he slumped down onto the bench, his head against the wall of the scrub room, his eyes closed. "That's it. Either they start fighting from 9 to 5 or I'm quitting the war."  
  
"Ah, what d'ya mean? Getting up bright and early at 3:00 in the morning is so refreshing. Such a lovely way to start the day." BJ said sleepily and sarcastically.  
  
"What time is it now?"  
  
BJ looked at his watch as he put it on his wrist. "1400h."  
  
Hawkeye opened an eye and looked up at him. "Is that AM or PM? Or is it a week from next Tuesday?"  
  
"Two O'clock in the afternoon."  
  
"I see. Time for bed."  
  
"You got that right." BJ said through a loud yawn.  
  
"I say we go have a nap then go for a drink at the O-Club. Or 2 drinks. Or Three, or four or-"  
  
"Sounds like a plan. Care to join us, Margaret?" BJ asked as he cut off Hawkeye when the blonde nurse entered.  
  
"No, whatever it is. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Care for me to join, Margaret?" Hawkeye asked cheekily.  
  
Too tired to come up with a clever response, Margaret just shook her head. "I don't even have the energy to look at you right now."  
  
"One look at me and you'd get your energy and be up and ready."  
  
"If we continue this conversation you probably will be 'up and ready', Hawkeye."  
  
"Margaret," BJ interrupted Hawkeye before he could come back at her. "We were planning to get some sleep then head over to the O-club for a drink or two." "Or Three, or four." Hawkeye finished off.  
  
"Well, what do you think?" BJ ignored his friend.  
  
"Sure, but I do need my beauty sleep."  
  
Hawkeye stood up to leave, "I'd vouch for that." He said lazily, getting a smack in the back of the head from Margaret as she followed him out of the room towards their separate tents.  
  
§§§§§§§§  
  
"ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL!" Came the blast of the camp's PAs.  
  
"No.not now." Hawkeye groaned and stuck his head under his pillow.  
  
"NO WORRIES FOLKS, NO MORE WOUNDED EXPECTED FOR AT 48 HOURS. ALL PERSONAL ON CONDITIONAL STAND DOWN."  
  
"Oh, thank God." BJ sighed from where he lay sprawled out on his cot. "What time is it?"  
  
"Half past dead."  
  
BJ looked at his watch. "We've been asleep for six hours! C'mon, let's get a quick pick-me-up at ye olde O-club."  
  
"Ah, nothing better for a quick pick-me-up like a depressant like alcohol."  
  
"Well, we could get some coffee at the mess tent."  
  
"O-club it is."  
  
They were just going to the Officer's Club, like they had plenty of other times, more often now with Margaret, and sometimes the rest of the group. However, BJ, Hawkeye and the Head Nurse had lately become closer friends than they once had been. It was no different from before, however Hawkeye felt for once to get up and get dressed. Before, he might have just pulled on his bathrobe over his boxer shorts and t-shirt. But now, he got up and put on a clean pair of the Army Issue olive drab pants. He had left all his good pants and jeans back home in Crabapple Cove. He changed his t- shirt and pulled on his famous blue and white Hawaiian shirt. It was a little tacky, but he always wore it, regardless. It did bring out the colour of his eyes. The raven-haired doctor was combing his hair when he caught BJ looking at him.  
  
"You're combing your hair!"  
  
"Yeah.so?"  
  
"You never do. Unless it's the Cockroach Derby Day."  
  
"Well, I just felt like combing it. It was stuck out everywhere. It.it was messy." He stuttered.  
  
BJ smiled. "Hawk, you know you don't need to dress up for a date with me! I love you no matter what you look like. And it's a good thing to."  
  
"Fink." Hawkeye said with a smile as he threw a pillow at the other man.  
  
Just then he saw Margaret walking towards their tent through the mesh walls. "Ohh.now I know why you were combing your hair and getting all dressed up."  
  
"What?" BJ smiled and pointed towards the blonde nurse. Hawkeye looked at her for a moment then shook his head, shaking it off, laughing. "Oh yeah, sure. She's so G.I. she makes McCarthur look like he was drafted. I'm too 'unmilitary' for her." He tried to make it a joke, but the blonde haired doctor hinted something else.  
  
"She's not so G.I. anymore. You know that."  
  
"Yeah...well..." For once, the always quick-for-a-comeback- Hawkeye didn't have anything to say.  
  
"Oh..it's like that is it?" BJ said, knowingly.  
  
"What's like what? There's nothing like anything!" He blushed and they both shut up about it as Margaret knocked.  
  
"Is everyone decent?" She called.  
  
"I've never been decent, but if you give me a moment I can get a little more indecent and take off my pants, if that's what you like!" Called Hawkeye.  
  
She shook her head, hiding her smile as she entered The Swamp. "You know, you've really got to clean up this place someday. I bet you'd find stuff from the Civil War in here."  
  
"Probably, feels like we've been here that long."  
  
"Amen to that."  
  
"Well, shall we repair to the Officer's Club?" BJ asked in a British accent.  
  
"I didn't-" Margaret started.  
  
"-Know it was broken." She and Hawkeye finished together, causing everyone to laugh as they left, BJ in the lead, while Hawkeye subconsciously lead Margaret by the small of her back out the door.  
  
§§§§§§§§  
  
After they each had a few drinks, the doctors and nurse were becoming quite giggly and Hawkeye and Margaret were flirting like teenagers.  
  
"Say, Margaret, care to dance?" He slurred through a laugh.  
  
"I dunno, I just had two offers at the same time, I don't know who's hand to take.. Yours or yours.." She giggled looking at his one hand and fell towards him, clumsily taking his hand. The pair laughed as they stumbled around the dance floor, laughing up a storm.  
  
Just then, Colonel Potter came in and sat down next to BJ. "Quite a pair, aren't they?" The older man commented, nodding towards the young couple.  
  
"Yeah, well they don't really like each other, that's just the alcohol."  
  
"I don't know, BJ, I've found that if anything, alcohol makes you act the way you feel, and speak very truthfully. Sometimes too truthfully, which is why I have this scar on my head from Mrs. Potter's rolling pin."  
  
BJ snorted a laugh. "They sure make me miss Peg. We were only married for a year when I got drafted. We were still newlyweds, and were still acting like they are right now."  
  
"Just wait until the sober up and start hiding their feelings. Neither will remember ever being this way and they'll pretend to hate each other so the other doesn't sense anything. God, they're each more stubborn than Sophie when she's in heat!"  
  
The song on the jukebox ended and Hawkeye and Margaret headed back to their table.  
  
"Hello Colonel Pothead.Pots.Pot.Potter." Margaret stuttered and did a half salute before leaning against Hawkeye for support and laughed.  
  
"Hello Margaret, Hawkeye." He nodded to them politely, hiding his laughter. "Having fun?"  
  
"Ye- yes-Eagle eye is a horrible dancer..he kepts stepping on both my foots!"  
  
"No worse than Hotnose.." Hawkeye mumbled.  
  
"Hot-hotli-li-what's my na-name again?" She tried to correct him.  
  
"Hotlips?" BJ offered.  
  
"How dare you call me that! I'm Major-Major Houli-Houlililigan" She shrieked with laughter and fell on Hawkeye's lap as soon as he sat down, causing the two of them to giggle more.  
  
"At ease." Potter mumbled sarcastically as BJ joined in the couple's laughter over nothing. "Kids, there's a reason I came in here to talk to you tonight. Major, Captains." When he said that they knew he was being serious, and looked up at him to listen. "Now, I advise you all go get some sleep and sober up. There's a case up at the front, an aid station. Bullet lodged, possibly nicked the spine. Now, he's stable for now, if they keep him still but he can't be moved. And the medics aren't qualified to do anything with him. They may be able to prevent paralysis if a surgeon gets up there by tomorrow morning. Pierce, it's your turn to go to the front. Go pack your bags, and go to bed. A jeep will be ready for you at oh nine hundred tomorrow. I'll get Radar to throw in a big thermos of coffee for you too. From the looks of things here, you'll need it." He gestured to the many empty highball and martini glasses around the table. "Get some sleep and good luck, son." He gave Hawkeye a pat on the shoulder, got up from the table and left the building.  
  
Hawkeye sighed. "So much for this evening. I'd better go." He got up and stumbled along and tripped over a chair before catching himself on the pinball machine. BJ got up to help him and Margaret started to follow. He grabbed her arm and helped her along as well.  
  
The three made it to The Swamp finally after tripping up a few times. BJ pushed them all in before realizing he should bring Margaret to her tent. He might have been the most sober of them all, but he wasn't far off from them.  
  
"Margaret, do I need to drop you off at your place?" He slurred.  
  
"No thanks, I don't like being dropped it hurts my bum." She said before laughing.  
  
Hawkeye pulled his pants off and his shirt. It was extremely warm and he was sleeping in just his boxers now. Margaret eyed him, she always thought he was very good looking, but with the alcohol it was hard for her to know.  
  
"Well, I'm going to bed now. G'night JB, Margarita, Martini.." He trailed off, trying to think of Margaret's name.  
  
"Goodnight, Birdbrain." BJ mumbled into his pillow.  
  
"Goodnight, Hawkear." Margaret looked at him. "Good luck tomorrow." She stood under him next to his cot. "Don't-try not to get hurt. You get yourself hurt or killed and I'll smack you." She said seriously.  
  
"Thank you Martini-Margaret." He blinked a few times, trying to keep her in focus. "Goodnight." He bent down and placed a small kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Thank Welcome." She mumbled and kissed him back before stumbling in the dark back to her own tent.  
  
§§§§§§§§  
  
"Sir..sir.." Radar called through the mesh wall of the Swamp. When Hawkeye didn't budge he hurried into the tent and leaned over. He saw the dark mop sticking out at the top of the blanket and he gently shook the lump lying on the cot. "Hawkeye..Hawk.."  
  
"Yeah..baby that's my name..say it again..come on..oh, you like that?"  
  
Radar's eyes opened wide and he covered his mouth with his hand in shock. "Uh..Hawkeye? It's me, Radar. You have to get up."  
  
The doctor slowly pulled the covers down and opened his eyes, blinking a few times, as if trying to focus. "Cof-get me coffee." He mumbled.  
  
"Right here sir." The young corporal handed him the mug, which he took and gulped down. "It's time to get up. You have to go to the front."  
  
He groaned. "Right. Why can't they just shout insults at each other from the rear instead of shooting ammo at each other from the front?"  
  
Radar shrugged sadly. "That's war, I guess." He started throwing some of Hawkeye's clothes and toiletries into an olive green bag.  
  
"Yeah, and whatever would we do without war." Hawkeye replied, sarcastically.  
  
"We'd have peace, sir." The young corporal said as he finished packing the bags and ran out of the tent, to do another of his many duties as company clerk. Hawkeye smiled at him. He was still an innocent boy in ways, just as he was when he first got there, but he had grown up into a man in others ways.  
  
Hawkeye got up and dressed, grabbed a flask to fill with lighter fluid from the still, and left the tent. He was just putting his bag into the jeep when a helicopter landed on the lower pad. Instinctively he ran over, but Col. Potter was there before him.  
  
"You go, we can handle it. It's just one case."  
  
"You sure, sir?"  
  
"GO! They need you at the front. Good luck son."  
  
"Thanks, Colonel. You know where to reach me. Just follow the loud booms."  
  
He ran off and went into the Swamp to wake up BJ. He was so glad Charles was in Tokyo for a conference. "Beej, we got a wounded soldier. Go scrub up. I gotta go, I'll see ya later." He dashed back out and put on his helmet as he hopped in the jeep.  
  
"Sir! Sir! Hawkeye!!" Radar called as he came out of the office.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Colonel Potter just told me to go get you. It's a bad chest case. You're the chief surgeon and the best he's seen, he said you got to do it."  
  
"But I have to go to the front."  
  
"He said to send BJ."  
  
"BJ can't handle the case?"  
  
"No, it's real bad. Sir, you're his only hope. You're the best doctor here, you know that. No offence to Captain Hunnicutt, sir."  
  
He sighed. "I'll go get BJ."  
  
"No, you have to go scrub up. I'll take care of your things, and put them back in the tent."  
  
"Okay. But, there's a flask from the gin mill. Leave that for Beej."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Tell him I said good luck, stay low, and if he gets hurt, I'll kill him."  
  
Radar smiled weakly. "Yes sir."  
  
§§§§§§§§  
  
Hawkeye ran into the scrub room to find Margaret in there. "What's it look like?" He asked her as he started washing.  
  
"Mortar fire. Marines were caught in it, most of them are about 18. They're hurt badly, especially the chest case that came on that first chopper." She said sadly. "To make it worse, there was a Korean family in the field, children playing when it hit. They're in rough shape, I don't know if the father will make it."  
  
"If I have anything to do with it, he will." Margaret helped him with his scrubs and he was about to go into the OR when she stopped him.  
  
"Hawk?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Good luck."  
  
He smiled under the mask. "Thanks. How would you like to assist the best looking doctor in camp?"  
  
"I thought Charles was still gone to Tokyo." He looked at her.  
  
"I mean a doctor even better looking than Charles, which doesn't say much."  
  
"But BJ is gone too. Do you mean Colonel Potter? He's a sweet man but I could never think of him like that."  
  
"You think you're cute don't you?"  
  
"I know I'm cute." He looked at her again. "I'd be honored to assist you, oh wonderful chief surgeon." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
He rolled his eyes sarcastically and playfully and went into the OR.  
  
§§§§§§§§  
  
A few hours later, Hawkeye slowly walked out of the OR, his shoulders slumped. He pulled off his surgical cap and sighed. Margaret followed him into the scrub room.  
  
"Pierce?" He was turned away from her. "Hawkeye, you did the best you could. There was nothing could be done for him."  
  
Hawkeye had his eyes closed, and didn't seem to have heard her. "God dammit," He mumbled, smacking his fist against the wall. "I could have saved him. It should have worked. Damn. Dammit. Jesus Christ I should have done better."  
  
"Hawkeye, you're the best damn surgeon I've seen. If you couldn't save him there was nothing you could have done."  
  
"I..I should have done something. I don't know what, but anything! I'm going to bed. Goodnight." With that he walked away, leaving her alone.  
  
After living in such close quarters with Hawkeye Pierce for almost three years, Margaret knew him better than anyone, with maybe the exception of BJ. And she knew when Hawkeye was down like this, he would go to the Swamp and drink out of the Still until he passed out. That was one thing she really didn't like, and she needed him to get out and feel better. She was supposed to clean the OR, but asked a few other nurses who were also on duty to do it, because she had reports to do. The head nurse wasn't lying, she did have reports to do, but that could wait. Right now, she needed to help Hawkeye.  
  
Quickly she changed out of her bloody scrubs and headed out towards The Swamp. Without thinking, she opened the door of the doctors' tent and gasped when she saw Hawkeye bent over, looking for his boxers, with nothing but his dog tags on.  
  
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth and her eyes widened and she tripped, trying to back out of the door.  
  
Hawkeye jumped and spun around in shock when he looked down and covered himself with his hands. Quickly he grabbed the closest pair, which were bright purple and pulled them on. "It's okay Margaret, you don't need to leave." He pulled on a shirt and then grabbed his pants. "I'm decent now."  
  
Margaret laughed nervously. "Oh my...I didn't realize. Oh God, I should have knocked..." She was bright red. Not only had she seen him naked, but he looked really good. When he was bent down, she saw his wonderful ass, and well, he turned around, and she saw a whole lot more. What made her feel worse, was that she should have felt bad, but she really liked what she saw, and hid her smile as she spoke to him.  
  
"Margaret, it's okay. I walked around the compound naked once. It doesn't bother me. So don't worry. It's behind us. If you really feel that bad, since you saw me naked, can I see you?"  
  
"Oh no, buster!" She slapped his arm. "You're not seeing me that easily." She stopped when she realized what she said. "You're not seeing me ever, for that matter."  
  
He grinned. "Uh huh, that's not what you said, it sounds to me like there might be a chance in me seeing you naked." He teased her playfully.  
  
"The reason I came in here was to see if you wanted to talk, or maybe go to the O Club and have a drink. I know you were upset about losing that soldier, but drinking alone will not help it."  
  
"He wasn't a soldier, he was a kid. He was just a God damned kid! He should have been home, wondering who to take to the movies next Sunday. Not whether or not he would live through the day." She sat on his cot and motioned for him to sit next to her. Finally he sat down, shoulders slumped. "I know Hawkeye, it's tough. But you know you can't save all of them. It's just impossible. In a war, young men die. Kids who shouldn't be involved. But you can't do anything about it, except do your best to try and save each one that comes through here. And I know for a fact that you do that. I've seen your work. It's better than any other doctor out there."  
  
He smiled sadly at her. "Thank you, Major." He looked around. "You know, since no one is around, I'll tell you this again. You are my favorite officer in the whole US Army." He leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek. Margaret closed her eyes, he had kissed her a few times throughout the war, and each time was heaven. He had the most amazing and softest lips, and it felt so wonderful to her. But she could never kiss him back, except for the times when he dipped her into a passionate kiss. He did it for show, but he loved it, and so did she, though both tried not to show it.  
  
"Thank you Hawkeye. And you are my favorite doctor in this whole damned army." She leaned over to kiss him back on his cheek and he turned his head, at the same time to speak to her, and their lips met. First, she widened her eyes at the shock then closed them when he kissed back. It was a very simple kiss, but it was wonderful, and when it was broken, both wanted more.  
  
"Margaret."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I haven't had anything to drink tonight."  
  
She laughed slightly. "Neither have I."  
  
He was about to lean in again and Radar came running into the tent. "Sir! Sir! Hawkeye Sir!!" He called, and when he saw the two of them sitting on his cot, Margaret's hand clasped in both of Hawkeye's, he stopped and put his hand over his mouth. "Oh Ma'amsir, I'm so sorry, I'm oh.. oh my.. uh.."  
  
"Radar, what is it? What's wrong? Is it Private Anderson?"  
  
Radar shook his head and came to his senses. "No sir. Battalion aid called. They're getting heavy shelling. They were wondering if BJ had left yet."  
  
"What do you mean? Shouldn't he have gotten there by now?"  
  
"No sir, the Aid station bugged out a while ago. It's about a four-hour drive, so BJ should be there in about an hour. They were going to tell us to tell him to turn back now."  
  
"Isn't there a walkie talkie in the jeep?" "No Hawkeye, I thought there was, so I called it, but I didn't get an answer. I found Rizzo and he told me it was on his desk in the motor pull. In about five pieces."  
  
"Shit.."  
  
"I know sir, I don't know what to do."  
  
"Neither do I, Radar, neither do I." Hawkeye said, worried as he sat there, subconsciously holding Margaret's hand tighter. She could tell he was scared, and without thinking, put her other hand on his back, rubbing softly, leaning in closer to him. He always made her feel protected, but she was still worried about BJ.  
  
§§§§§§§§ 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Okay, this was a quick update, just cause I had the 1st chapter done a while ago, just didn't post it cause I didn't have a name, and by the time I figured out my crap-ass title, I had this chapter done. So, just because I updated quickly does NOT mean anything in the future. Cause, well, being in grade 12 is insane...so it'll be slow going, probably. I don't know. Just don't got your hopes up!  
  
Thanks: Thanks to CorporalCupcake, Assilem, Falcon and HM Writer for their input on this and I'm sure you'll see more from them in the future! (Shameless plug: Read their stories!! They are AWESOME!! (Corporal Cupcake is more into CSI stories so read them too!!!) Ahem. Also, I'd like to thank my reviewers, some I'm not sure I know you but others have been my faithful R&Rers since the beginning of my writing days (sniffs and gets nostalgic.) So Thank you to the new people and all the people who have always read my writing (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!)  
  
Warning: Though not my usual thing, it's a little mushy, but it kind of has to be for this to work. I promise, after this, Hawkeye might get a little romantic every now and again, but it won't be this mushy. It'll be more my usual stuff with a bit of lighthearted humor stuff. Please R&R!!  
  
Well now, this has been a long Author's note, hasn't it? I promise they'll be shorter in the future, and if you aren't tired of reading already, here's chapter 2!!!  
  
*****  
  
"RADAR!" Colonel Potter called. No sooner had he said that, and the short company clerk dashed into the CO's office as the Colonel said "Any news from Battalion Aid?"  
  
As the colonel spoke, Radar said "I called the Aid Station sir, there's no sign of Cap'n Hunnicutt and the chopper pilots going between there and here haven't seen him here or there or anywhere in between sir."  
  
"Fig Newtons."  
  
"Yes sir. Would you like me to get the officer's together in the office, sir, for a search party?"  
  
"Not tonight. It's pitch black out; we wouldn't see a damn thing. Plus with snipers out there, it'd just be too dangerous. We'll wait until tomorrow morning. Go get a good rest. You're gonna be busy on the phone all day tomorrow, Radar. Go get some sleep Radar."  
  
"Yes sir. See you at oh six hundred tomorrow sir." Radar turned around and walked out to his office and cot.  
  
"Come home, BJ." Potter mumbled to himself and sighed heavily once he was alone.  
  
*******  
  
Margaret was brushing her hair for the 467th time that night. Normally it was one hundred, but she had now done this four times, and each time failed to make her want to sleep. She couldn't get her mind off of everything that had happened. BJ was missing, but, as horrible as it made her feel, she was thinking about Hawkeye instead.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Yes?"  
  
"I noticed your light is still on. You realize it's one thirty in the wee hours of the morning?" Hawkeye called through the door.  
  
Hiding her smile, she continued to brush. "Come in, Pierce." He came in and she looked up at him. "What are you doing up so late?"  
  
"My tent is too quiet. Now, even Charles snoring, snobbish accent and his damn records would be nice to hear. I can't stop thinking about Beej."  
  
"I know, Hawkeye."  
  
"Well what about you? What are you doing, just brushing your hair now at this time of night?"  
  
"I'm after brushing my hair 4 times, this is the fifth time. Usually it makes me sleepy, but I just can't sleep tonight."  
  
"I can tell you've been brushing it a lot." She looked at him and he smiled as he reached out and touched a lock of her hair, running his hand down the soft blonde hair. "It's really bushy." She looked at him like she was deciding whether or not to be insulted and he snorted a laugh. "But you're still beautiful, major."  
  
She smiled sadly at him. "Thank you, Captain."  
  
"What was that, Darlene?" He asked her cutely.  
  
"Thank you," She paused, "Thank you, Hank."  
  
Hawkeye grinned and took her hand. "I like Hank, but I think Hawkeye is a little better. It sounds a lot better, especially when you scream it into the night while I'm on top of you."  
  
"HAWKEYE!" Margaret yelped and smacked him in the chest. She knew he was kidding, and had long sense gotten used to his dirty jokes, but she still never knew what he would say next.  
  
"Yeah, exactly like that. Well, except for the part about me being on top of you." He went forward, pretending to tackle her, but this time she was ready for him, and tickled him in the ribs.  
  
"AHHHEE!" He half squealed and jumped back up. She stopped, as if she realized she had been flirting with him, willingly, and went back to doing what she was doing before.  
  
"Captain, I want to finish brushing my hair." She said seriously and turned away from him. "One hundred strokes."  
  
"Major, you're beautiful no matter what, but I should let you know, you keep brushing your hair like this and it will fall out."  
  
"Please leave."  
  
"Margaret, I know what's bothering you. And it's bothering me too. I should be the one that was on their way to the front. BJ is missing now, and we can't go look for him until morning. My best friend is missing, you think I can sleep? You think you're the only one worried, and doing compulsive things to try and stay sane? You have no idea how much I've paced our God damned tent, trying to get it out of my mind, and every time I turn around I see his bunk, or that picture of Erin. Or even the Still. He didn't make the still, but he sure did christen it. Again and again. I see Erin and Peg, their picture, and one with BJ, I think about..I think about.." He started to take deep breaths. "If Erin doesn't get her daddy back..and...and..Peg doesn't get her husband..then I feel horrible. It's my fault, and, and I'm worried about loosing my best friend, when I should be thinking of Erin and Peg.." His voice was breaking up more and more now.  
  
During his speech, Margaret sat on her bunk, looking up at the man who she had always thought the strongest in the camp. Rarely had she seen this side of him, and was very moved about the way he felt. She stood up and walked over to where he was standing, hanging his head, his shoulders slumped, and his hand at his eyes, obviously trying to hold back tears. She slowly and gently touched his arm, causing him to jump. He had almost forgotten she was there, listening to him.  
  
"Hawkeye. Listen to me. It is not your fault, and we WILL find BJ. You and I, we'll search every inch of South and North Korea personally if we have to. But we will find our friend, and your best friend. He's becoming closer to me every day. Both of you are. And I love you both, so we have to find him."  
  
Hawkeye looked at her with red in his normally bright blue eyes. He had the one of the saddest expressions she had ever seen on his normally bright and handsome face. He didn't say a word, but suddenly put his arms around her, holding her in a tight hug, resting his chin on her hair as she rested her forehead against his shoulder. She inhaled deeply and took in his wonderful scent she had come to know and love over the two and a half years she had known him. Hawkeye put his face down into her blonde hair, burying himself in it, inhaling her scent just as deeply as she did. She smelled so beautiful to him. Then, everything about her was beautiful. He placed a kiss on her hair, and held her for a while longer, each soaking the other up, pressed as close together their bulky sweaters and fall clothing would allow, neither wanting to be the one to break the embrace.  
  
He held her closer and realized she was crying. Her shoulders were shaking and she buried her head further against his chest.  
  
"Margaret?"  
  
She lifted her head just slightly, but never looked in his eyes. With tears on her cheeks she choked out, "We'll find him." Before crying again.  
  
He held her against him. "I know baby, we will. We just gotta look for him." He sighed. "I hope."  
  
She stopped and looked straight in his piercing blue eyes. "We WILL."  
  
He smiled sadly and took a tissue from her dresser and dabbed at her eyes and cheeks.  
  
"Hawkeye, it's okay to.. you know.. Cry." She could see the tears threatening to fall. He nodded and a single tear fell over his cheek. His display of emotion and feelings for his best friend caused more tears of her own to fall. "Oh, Hawk.."  
  
He rubbed her back. "It's okay, baby, it's okay." He kissed her hair again. She lifted up and looked at him. "You know, I missed a couple tears when I wiped them away. The tissue is soggy though. Oh well. I'll improvise."  
  
"There's more tissues there on the-" He cut her off by placing his finger on her lips as he went forward and kissed her cheek, right where a tear had fallen. He moved back and smiled slightly at her. "Oh." She smiled and laughed slightly.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"I think you missed a few spots."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Major Houllihan, are you trying to seduce me?" She laughed. "Because it's working." He mumbled as he moved closer and kissed her lips. It was a quick sweet kiss, but both looked at the other and leaned forward again.  
  
He captured her lips with his own, working over her bottom lip and kissed her lightly a few times before he kissed her softly and let his tongue slip into her mouth. She moaned as he massaged her tongue and the inside of her mouth with his own. Margaret opened her mouth wider, trying to get more of him inside; he was absolutely amazing at what he did. His hands went over her back as hers went around his neck and went up, threading his hair through her fingers and holding his head tighter to hers. She let her tongue go towards his mouth and they started wrestling back and forth.  
  
Finally, they broke the kiss and stayed close so that their noses were touching as they breathed in the scent of each other, letting their lips gently touch each other every now and again, calming down between little butterfly kisses.  
  
"Hawkeye? What's going on? I'm so confused. I should be upset because of BJ, but I'm here with you, I feel bad that I'm not thinking about him, Hawk."  
  
"I know. Margaret, I want you to know," He took her hands in his. "I care for you. Very, very deeply. And I want to continue this. But we can't right now, not with everything that's been going on. I can't with BJ gone like this. But I promise," He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, "I will never EVER hurt you. I know you are probably worried, given your past experiences with men, well I can understand if you don't fully trust me. But I won't hurt you."  
  
"I know you won't." She realized they were in a very settling position on her bed, her half lying half sitting against her pillows and Hawkeye leaning against her, his leg between hers. "But, you should go. For tonight."  
  
"I know."  
  
"We'll see about the next night." She added with a smile and kissed his nose. "We will find BJ and might want to celebrate."  
  
He smiled. "Margaret! You made pass at me, and I love it! I'll see you tomorrow morning." He kissed her sweetly. "Goodnight." Kiss. "I'm going." Kiss. "Through the door." Kiss. "In the Swamp." Kiss. "In my own bunk." He kissed her deeper and longer this time and when he finally let go he stood up. "Goodnight Major."  
  
"Goodnight, Captain."  
  
*******  
  
Early the next morning the PA crackled to life. "Would Major Houllihan, Captain Pierce, Father Mulcahey and Corporal Klinger please report to Colonel Potter's office!" Radar's voice sounded.  
  
For once, Hawkeye was up and dressed. Actually he hadn't been asleep anymore than a few minutes here and there throughout the night. He knew this was to organize the search party for BJ, and therefore was prepared. He had his medical bag ready along with his kit including a compass, whistle, flashlight, and map of their area of South Korea. As he walked out of The Swamp and towards the main office, Margaret was also coming out of her tent. It was obvious she had a little sleep as he had had, but whether that was because she was thinking about Hawkeye or BJ he wasn't quite sure of.  
  
"Good morning, Captain Pierce. You're up early."  
  
"Actually I'm up late. I hardly slept a wink last night."  
  
"I know, Hawkeye. Neither did I. But we'll find him. Are you ready to go searching?"  
  
"Yes, but you know what happened last time we were stuck in the woods alone that time and stumbled upon that hut."  
  
"Hawkeye! Not right now."  
  
"I know. But, you know me, I always make jokes at the wrong times."  
  
"No you don't. That's one great thing about you. You see the good side in things and bring it out to people. Hawk, people in this camp love you for being so unmilitary and joking."  
  
"I know. But I can be serious sometimes."  
  
"I know that, I saw last night." He looked away. "Hawkeye, it's not a crime for a man to cry you know." Slowly he looked back at her. "It showed me how much you care for your friend, and how close you really are to him. Not to mention that I think it takes a real man to be able to cry, and it's actually pretty sexy."  
  
He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "What is this? Is Major Houllihan Regular Army falling for the dirty draftee Captain Benjamin Pierce with his raven black hair and sparkling blue eyes and amazing features?"  
  
She laughed. "Shut up." Margaret lightly slapped him on the chest and he put an arm around her waist as they walked into the office together.  
  
Hawkeye, Margaret, Klinger and Radar filed into Colonel Potter's office. Radar stood on the side of the colonel's desk before taking his seat on a desk against the wall. Klinger took his spot in the corner seat, while the Father stood by the doors. Hawkeye and Margaret took the two seats in front of the desk.  
  
"Men," Potter started and got a cough from Margaret, "And women; Radar and myself have been on the phone all night trying to reach just about everyone. I've spoken to everyone except General Macarthur and the President of China! No one has seen BJ, but people are looking. Charlie Company of the 589th is out looking, as well as all chopper pilots in the area. However, we're going to send out search teams. Winchester should be back any minute and he'll be helping us too, no matter how tired or hung over he may be.  
  
"Sir, Major Winchester should be here in about two minutes." Radar said suddenly. They all looked at him for a moment, before Potter continued.  
  
"Now, Pierce, Margaret, you two are in charge of Search Party, uh, what do you want to call it?"  
  
"Rubber Duckies." Hawkeye said.  
  
Potter blinked a few times. "Okay, well you two are in charge of Search Party Rubber Duckies, and myself and Winchester will be in charge of Search Party Horseshoe. For good luck."  
  
"What does it matter what the names are?" Margaret said exasperatingly. "We need to get out there!"  
  
"Major, Zale has fixed the walkie talkies, so each search party will have two, and Radar will have one here. Radar, you're-"  
  
"I'll stay here for any sign from either of you or for any calls from Charlie Company."  
  
"What you said. Klinger, you're with the ducks, and five other enlisted men: Straminsky, Zale, Goldberg, Peters and Whelan. Go round them up. Radar, get me Rizzo, Norris, Oxford, Rochester, and Reed. They'll be in my group."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Father, your job is just as important as everyone else's. Please, pray for BJ, and that we might find him."  
  
"Yes sir." The padre nodded and left, leaving just Potter, Hawkeye and Margaret behind. It was then that Charles burst in the room.  
  
"Sir, I am back from Tokyo. Radar said to come see you right away, I haven't even had the chance to put away my things and I need a shower, now what is it you need?"  
  
"BJ's missing. You're in my search party. Come on, kids, I'll tell you on the way, Winchester."  
  
By the time Colonel Potter explained everything to Charles, they were in the middle of the compound with the enlisted that were to go with them. The Colonel was barking orders to the enlisted to gas up the vehicles, get supplies from the supply tent and get everything ready for their search.  
  
"Colonel! We have to get going!" Hawkeye called above the hustle and bustle of the camp.  
  
"Son we will as soon as everything is ready!"  
  
"But the longer we wait the more danger Beej could be in!! We have to go look for him! NOW!!"  
  
"Listen Hawk, we can't go until we're ready!"  
  
Hawkeye turned to Charles. "This was your fault! If we didn't have to wait for you to get back from your precious R&R we could be out by now!"  
  
Margaret could tell Hawkeye was really getting upset about BJ, and Potter noticed as well. Silently, with his eyes, he told Margaret to go take care of him.  
  
"Hawkeye, why don't we go rest for a bit until they're ready?" She asked him.  
  
"But we have to go!!"  
  
"Come on, Hawk, we'll just go into the Scrub room for a minute."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Pierce, we're going and that's final. Now come with me." She spoke in her stern Major voice. She led him into the empty Scrub room and sat him down on the bench. She sat next to him, turning slightly so she faced him. "Hawkeye, baby, you've got to calm down. I know it's hard-"  
  
"You have no idea! Beej is my best friend!"  
  
"Hawkeye! He's my best friend too. One of my two best friends here in this camp." She placed a hand on his knee. "You and BJ are the two closest people to me. I've never let anyone ever get this close to me before. I've always been afraid that they would leave and I would get hurt. And now I'm afraid---" Her voice broke.  
  
"I know Margaret, I'm afraid too." They both moved closer, putting their arms around each other as Hawkeye rested his cheek against her hair. "You know that in a war, and in any medical situation, every minute counts. I need to get to BJ."  
  
"I know. I know, Hawk but we need to get the supplies."  
  
He sighed. "Well we should have at least volunteered for supplies, that way we'd at least get something productive done."  
  
"But that's the enlisted men's job."  
  
He smiled. "I don't think you understand what I meant by something productive."  
  
She smiled sadly. "I don't think either one of us is in any state to do that right now." Both had sad smiles on their faces, their cheeks tear stained. "Not now."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"But while we're waiting for them to finish up packing.." She spoke softly as she inched closer, her hand on his thigh as she tilted her head up towards his. He responded by pushing her hair back behind her ear as he cupped a soft cheek and caressed the fair skin on her face. Hawkeye moved his head closer to her own, his mouth slightly open, going for her own lips. Finally they met and his soft lips covered her own and he kissed her gently and passionately. It was not forceful or seductive, just loving and comforting. Margaret brought her hand up to his silky black with gray hair and stroked it, running her fingers through it as he worked his magic over her, massaging her lips with his own as his tongue did the same with hers.  
  
Finally they broke apart and their eyes opened, and stared at each other for a moment.  
  
"Margaret,"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I..uh..I.." He scratched the back of his head and looked away.  
  
"What Hawkeye?"  
  
"Um..we have to go." He heard Potter's whistle, and he silently thanked God. He knew he would have to tell her later, but it wasn't the right time or the right place at the moment.  
  
Hawkeye led a confused Margaret out the door of the main building and they met with everyone in the compound. Potter came over to speak to them, as the leaders of the other search party.  
  
"Now, we're gonna be careful, Hawkeye, I know you won't take your gun, but Margaret do you have yours?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Swell. Now you kids be careful, if you hear anything, it could be BJ, but you still gotta be careful. Stick together, and know where everyone is at all times. If you see any sign of him, radio us. Here's your radio, we got one and Radar's got another one. He's staying by the phone."  
  
"Yes sir." Hawkeye and Margaret answered.  
  
"Good luck."  
  
"You too," Hawkeye said the same time Margaret responded, "Thanks," as he helped her in the jeep that they would take while the enlisted took the ambulance and followed.  
  
******  
  
An hour later, Hawkeye and Margaret were walking along the road, checking their map while holding hands. The corpsmen were looking in the woods in the area while they looked for a sign of a jeep.  
  
Hawkeye sighed. "You know, I want to find Beej, but I'm hoping someone else will. I'm afraid, I don't know if I want to see what shape he's in.." He trailed off.  
  
"I know, Hawkeye. But the sooner someone finds him the better."  
  
"God, I hope someone sees him. And not the North Koreans." He looked away.  
  
She smiled sadly and put her hand around his waist, pulling him closer and he put his arm around her shoulder. "We'll find him. The chopper pilots are all on the lookout, all the regiments and companies and battalions in the area have been alerted. Someone will find him."  
  
Before he could answer the radio he held in his hand crackled. "RUBBER DUCK COME IN RUBBER DUCK THIS IS HORSESHOE!" Came Colonel Potter's voice.  
  
Hawkeye brought it to his mouth. "That's Rubber Duckies. Rodger Dodger, what's your A5 oh 3?"  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"  
  
"I don't know, just trying to do radio talk."  
  
"WELL SHUT UP. I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS. CAPTAIN STOKES, A CHOPPER PILOT HAS SEEN A JEEP AND SOME MOVEMENT ABOUT 5 MILES SOUTH OF WHERE YOU GUYS ARE. HE'S GOT YOUR POSITION, AND COMING DOWN TO LEAD YOU TO THE AREA. THERE'S NO DECENT SPOT FOR HIM TO LAND, SO HE NEEDS YOU GUYS."  
  
"Thanks Colonel, that's great, we'll be ready. Over and out."  
  
"I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!"  
  
"Sorry. Over."  
  
They could hear Potter mumbling something incoherent before he turned his radio off.  
  
Margaret grabbed the radio. "Give that to me, we have to radio the men."  
  
"But I can-"  
  
"Oh you don't know what you're talking about on those things, give it to me." He scowled as she pressed a button. "Rubber ducks! Where are you Ducks?"  
  
"WE'RE ABOUT 50FT FROM THE ROAD AT THE MOMENT MA'AM."  
  
"Well get back here, we've got a sign, get back to the road, on the double!"  
  
"YES MA'AM!"  
  
"Over and out."  
  
"OVER."  
  
She thrust it back against Hawkeye's chest. That's how you use it."  
  
"Uh huh." He said sarcastically and rolled his eyes, since he was a step behind her.  
  
"I saw that! Don't you roll your eyes at me!"  
  
"How did you know I rolled my eyes?"  
  
"I didn't until just then!" She grinned and turned around facing him.  
  
"You're cute, you know that?"  
  
"Not as cute as you." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she ruffled his hair, leaving it a complete mess.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Ah, shut up about it and kiss me!"  
  
"And what if I don't want to?"  
  
"Then as a major I order you!"  
  
"Since when have I ever listened to your orders?" "Good point."  
  
He grinned. "Here. Close your eyes." He leaned in and quickly pecked her on the cheek.  
  
"That wasn't a kiss!! That reminded me of grade six!"  
  
"Okay, well how about this?" He leaned forward and pecked her on the lips.  
  
"That's high school.."  
  
"How's this for a doctor and a nurse?" He leaned towards her once more and captured her lips with his own. She moaned slightly and put her arms around his neck.  
  
After a moment she pulled away. "Wait. The enlisted!" She turned around to see Klinger, Igor and a few other enlisted men looking at them with wide eyes. She looked back at them for a moment before she quickly switched to Major mode. "Well, what are you waiting for?" She barked at them. "Get ready and get in the ambulance for when the chopper comes!"  
  
A chorus of "Yes Major"s and "Yes ma'am"s were heard as they quickly got to work putting their supplies and packs in the back of the ambulance and piling in. Once they were settled in the there and Hawkeye and Margaret were in the jeep the chopper came into view over the road. It hovered a moment over them, before turning and heading back, but this time directly over the roads so that they could follow them.  
  
After about five minutes the chopper started to hover and circle an area just ahead of Hawkeye and Margaret in their jeep. They drove over a small hill and could see the jeep ahead, turned on its side.  
  
"Oh no." Hawkeye muttered. Silently he prayed for them to find BJ but not hurt. "Margaret, get my bag out of the back." He told her as he kept his eyes straight ahead, driving closer to the overturned jeep.  
  
As the jeep rolled to a stop Hawkeye jumped out with his bag, running over. "Hawkeye! Be careful!" Margaret called as she turned their jeep off; in his rush, he had forgotten to do so. "For God's sake be careful." She prayed under her breath. Hawkeye reached the jeep and, begging for BJ to be okay, praying that it would be him but he would be safe, he looked in..  
  
"Oh my God," Was Hawkeye's only response when he saw what lay before him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hawkeye stood staring at what lay in front of him, wide eyed, his jaw dropped. He was just too shocked to do anything or to say anything.  
  
"Hawkeye? Hawkeye?!" Margaret called to him when she saw him standing there, frozen. "Hawkeye what's wrong?" She shouted. Still he didn't move, and she hopped out of the jeep and ran over. "Oh my God," Was her response when she saw what he was staring at.  
  
The jeep was lying upside down, and looked as if part of it had been burned. A man who had obviously been thrown from the driver's seat lay crumpled and unconscious on the ground, his torso half covered by the jeep, crushed underneath it. His face was badly burned, cut and bruised, as was most of his body, but he was still identifiable, especially with the now singed and bloody mustache.  
  
"BJ!" Margaret's voice was barely a whisper as she stared at BJ and her eyes welled up with tears. "Dear God no..." She cried, her voice hardly audible.  
  
"You've got to help me Margaret." He gave her shoulders a quick squeeze as he stood behind her; he grabbed his medical bag, and quickly got to work.  
  
He grabbed BJ's wrist but it was badly crushed and cut. His chest was partially exposed from underneath the jeep so he got his stethoscope, silently begging to hear something. Listening carefully, Hawkeye heard a fait heartbeat and he breathed a small sigh of relief. BJ was alive, but just barely.  
  
"Well?" Margaret asked impatiently.  
  
"He's got a beat. It's irregular, and faint. Also, I heard something, sounds like he's got fluid in his lungs. I haven't gotten a good look at him since the jeep is over him but he may have some internal breathing, he's got some burns and definitely some broken bones, but I need a closer look."  
  
"What he needs is a hospital..."  
  
"Some medication," Hawkeye added.  
  
"An OR." Hawkeye sighed. "You radio Potter and Radar. See what we can do to get him back the fastest. I'll get some of the guys to help lift the jeep."  
  
"Don't you lift the jeep! You can't risk hurting your hands! Get the men to do it."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Don't help them, Pierce. Just tell them what to do." She told him in her Major voice.  
  
He rolled his eyes and ran towards the ambulance of corpsmen get some help.  
  
After much grunting and lifting and pushing, the young men finally got the jeep off of BJ and Hawkeye went back to examining him. After a few minutes Margaret came over.  
  
"So, anything new?" She asked nervously.  
  
"Just as I suspected. Two broken legs, one is crushed pretty badly. His wrist is broken and his other arm might be too. I need to get x-rays to see how badly they all are, but I know we'll need to operate on his left leg. He's got internal bleeding, definitely fluid in the lungs, and he's got multiple lacerations, bruises, and burns all over his body."  
  
"Holy shit..." Margaret breathed. "We've got to get him out of here."  
  
"Did you talk to the Colonel?"  
  
She snapped out of her trance, staring at BJ's limp body and remembered what she had come to tell him. "He radioed Radar, who radioed Captain Stokes, and he's going to land up ahead about a hundred feet ahead, the road's a little wider. Horseshoe is on their way back to the camp, they're closer than we are and Stokes can get BJ back quickest. We'll follow behind them."  
  
No sooner had she said that when Radar's voice came on over the radio. "Duckies! Search party Ducks! This is Mama bear 4077th! Do you read me?" Margaret picked up the walkie-talkie and pressed the button. "Mama bear this is rubber duckies. Over."  
  
"They've got mortar fire up ahead. All the roads are blocked. Stokes can fly back, just not over the roads. You guys have to stay behind till I give you the okay to come back. It's some pretty heavy shelling around some parts, you just have to lay low, you might be spending the night out there. Over."  
  
"Okay Radar. Standing by to wait for your okay to come home. BJ will be on his way in a moment when Stokes lands. Over and out."  
  
"Roger Wilco."  
  
Margaret sighed heavily. "Well, I'll go tell the rest. You get BJ ready."  
  
Stokes landed up ahead and with the help of Hawkeye and some corpsmen, they brought BJ to the chopper while keeping him as steady as possible. Hawkeye shouted above the blades to keep him steady, especially since his best friend was riding in the back. He bent down and hit the side of the chopper, signaling for him to take off as he shielded himself from the wind and dust the whir of the blades caused.  
  
Margaret came up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder as they watched the helicopter take off. She had tears in her eyes, which she choked back for another while. She might let Hawkeye see her cry but she didn't want the enlisted men to see her. "I told the men. They're setting up a camp inside the ambulance for themselves, but there's only so much room in there."  
  
"Don't worry, we'll sleep in the jeep. We've got extra blankets, I'll keep you warm." She looked up at him, her eyes showing fear and love. "But we'll keep it PG-13." He added with a sad smile on his face.  
  
"Good. I don't think I could now, even if I wanted to." Her eyes welled up again, her tears coming closer to falling.  
  
"Neither could I. But, he'll be okay." His voice wasn't confident, and he rubbed her back gently to soothe her as well as convince himself BJ would be okay.  
  
"Come on, it'll start getting dark in an hour, let's get a camp set up." She took his hand and led him to their jeep.  
  
He smiled sadly and followed her, and they began to set up for the night. She was amazed with the efficiency and how well Hawkeye set up the camp. "You're not Army. Where'd you learn all this?"  
  
"Dad. We used to go on fishing trips and hunting trips where we'd camp under the stars. I've been doing this since I was three." They were both glad to have something to talk about besides BJ and the state he was in. Not to be insensitive, but they needed to get their minds onto something else so it didn't drive them crazy.  
  
"I had no idea. Don't be upset, but I always thought you would be a, well- not spoiled, and not a city boy, but-"  
  
"Not the kinda guy who enjoys roughing it?" He offered and she nodded. "Well, you make think that because I hate being in the camp in Korea, not because I don't like camping, but because of our job here."  
  
"Well I can understand that."  
  
"But, I'm a country boy, through and through. Dad's a country doctor, so was his dad. The rest of the family are farmers. I worked on the farms as a kid, helping with the horses and cows, working in the crops."  
  
She smiled. "Sounds like you enjoyed it."  
  
"I did. But I wanted to be a doctor even more. I still enjoy going out for a day and just being out at the farm." He sighed. "I miss it."  
  
"I bet you do. It sounded like a lot of fun. Especially for a little boy. I think every boy wishes to run free in the fields."  
  
"Yup." He grinned like a little boy. "I loved every minute of it. I'd kick off my shoes and run through the fields chasing after my bigger cousins in my blue overalls."  
  
She laughed. "You sound like you were a really cute kid. Did you still have the same cute hair?" "You think I'm cute?" He teased her.  
  
"I'm didn't say that, just, I can picture you as a cute little kid with a straw in your mouth, barefoot with overalls and no shirt, the cuffs rolled up, and with the shaggy black hair you're even cuter."  
  
He grinned. "That was me. Then I got older and bigger, but did the same thing, with the same kind of clothes."  
  
She smiled at the thought of him now with overalls and no shirt on, and she liked the picture she had in her head.  
  
Hawkeye noticed she was silent and had a smile on her face. "You like what you see?" He teased.  
  
Margaret blushed and became flustered for a moment. "What? No, I was, just, uh, I was,"  
  
He laughed. "You like what you see, don't you? Come on, tell me, you like this body of mine, and want to see it with less clothes on."  
  
Her eyes widened and she smacked him in the chest. "You're horrible." She laughed and he grabbed her hands and held them against his chest.  
  
"Yeah, but you like it." He said as he neared her lips and kissed her, quickly, but lovingly.  
  
"You're cute you know?"  
  
"Yeah I know." He grinned.  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "Kiss me."  
  
"Major are you coming on to me?" Hawkeye asked her as she put her arms around his neck. "Cause it's working." He leaned down and took her lips with his own, working over them hungrily. He opened her mouth gently and eased his tongue inside, working it over her own passionately but not desperate.  
  
Finally they broke and she looked up in his eyes. "You're an amazing kisser."  
  
"I try." He said with a smile. "We should, well, go to bed...well, go to jeep."  
  
"Go to jeep?"  
  
"We don't have a bed, we're sleeping in the back of the jeep, you got a better way to put it?"  
  
"I don't know, anything sounds better than 'go to jeep'."  
  
He laughed and helped her into the jeep. He hopped up and sat down, kicking off his boots. He leaned into the side of the jeep and against the back, his feet up on the front seat diagonal from him. Margaret sat down next to him, cuddled into his shoulder. She neared closer to him and he helped pull her up so she was sitting on his lap.  
  
"Do you find it warm?" He asked her.  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Oh. Well do you mind, it is really warm, I'm not doing this to seduce you." She looked at him with a confused expression. "I find I get to sleep easier with my shirt off, but I didn't want you to get worried, thinking I was trying to seduce you."  
  
Margaret smiled, she loved how careful he was, not wanting to scare her off. "I don't mind."  
  
"Good." He pulled it off and threw it on the floor of the jeep.  
  
"I'm just going to take this off..." She pulled her Army button shirt off, leaving her in her t-shirt and she leaned against him, her arms around his neck and head on his chest as she sat in his lap. "This is comfortable."  
  
"Yeah." He gulped. He enjoyed being close to her, but was worried about what might happen.  
  
"I know you said you found it was warm, but do you mind if I pull the blanket over us?"  
  
"Um, not at all. I do like to have something over me when I'm sleeping, just, I don't like wearing a shirt in the warm weather."  
  
"I know what you mean, don't worry. I'm not going to be insulted because you took off your shirt. I know you don't mean anything about it, so don't worry." She smiled and kissed his nose. "Where are the blankets?"  
  
He thought for a moment, she seemed very close to him. "Uh, there's one there on the floor I put there."  
  
"Oh, of course." She hadn't seen it in front of her. She leaned forward and grabbed it, and went to lean back when she felt something against her back. She stopped and her eyes widened and she turned around to face Hawkeye, who had eyes just as wide as hers.  
  
His face turned bright red with embarrassment, the same as when he had been a teenager. He shifted and cleared his throat. She jumped off of him and just looked at him. Although pleased the effect she had on him, Margaret was not ready, and neither was he, mentally. Physically he was, but with Margaret it was more a mental than a physical relationship.  
  
"Um, uh.umm... must be the, uh, the heat, tonight, it's warm out..." He trailed off. Bad excuse, he knew it, but his brain wasn't working at the moment.  
  
"So..." Nervously she looked around, mindlessly scratching her head. Both knew they weren't ready to take their relationship further, especially in the situation.  
  
"Yeah..." He mumbled and looked the other way, trying to forget his pain as well as embarrassment.  
  
"Well..." She couldn't help but be turned on, but she wouldn't let anything happen. She couldn't let anything happen, she just wasn't ready.  
  
"I'll, uh, I'll go check with Radar, see if the road is clear..." Before Margaret could respond he jumped out of the jeep, making sure he had his hand over the front of him in case one of the men walked by as he looked in his bag he had thrown by the campfire the men had made.  
  
"Mama Bear, where are you? This is the Duckies, come in Mama Bear, come in Radar!" He checked his watch and saw that it was one hundred hours, but he didn't care. He needed something to get his mind off of Margaret sitting in the jeep.  
  
"Hawkeye what are you doin up this late? I was asleep you know!" Radar's voice came over, and suddenly realized who he was he was talking to. "Oh, sir I'm so sorry sir! This is momma Bear, what do you need?"  
  
"Is the road clear Radar?"  
  
"No sir, still not safe. There's lots of snipers reported in the area, it's just not safe yet. If you guys get hurt I'll be in big trouble! You'll have to stay for at least the rest of the night. Sorry, Hawk."  
  
"Yeah, it's okay Radar. Gotta go now, over and out."  
  
"Over."  
  
He turned the radio off and looked down. He closed his eyes and tried his best to picture everything he could to gross him out. He thought of Radar naked in the place of Margaret and he was ready to go back to the jeep.  
  
"Hi." He smiled as he climbed back in.  
  
Margaret smiled. "Hey." She looked down, wondering exactly how it went away, and she prayed he didn't do what she thought he might do. But since she didn't think he had any magazines with him, she figured he never. "You ready to go to bed now?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Okay, well goodnight."  
  
"Night." He said and settled down next to her in the position they were in before. "Wait." She looked up at him. "I never gave you a goodnight kiss. Goodnight Margaret." He bent down and gave her a short but sweet, loving kiss.  
  
"Goodnight Hawkeye." She leaned up and kissed him, pushing against him she grabbed his head and pulled it closer to her. She was not ready to have sex yet, especially with everything on her mind with BJ, but she needed something from Hawkeye. Finally they let go and she gave him a short sweet kiss again.  
  
"Goodnight." She mumbled, leaned against his chest, and closed her eyes.  
  
It was sometime later when the rumbling of thunder in the distance woke Margaret with a start. It took a moment before she realized where she was. Hawkeye was still sound asleep, leaning against the back of the seat, his legs stretched over into the front seat. The thunder got louder as it neared and she wrapped her arms around his body, huddling next to him as close as she could get, which was when he woke up.  
  
"Hey, what's the matter Margaret?"  
  
She was now trembling and she buried her face into his chest and squeezed him as a loud clap sent her into a state of nervousness.  
  
"Shh, shh it's okay, baby." He pulled her up so she could lean on his shoulder better and he could hold her closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her as he rubbed her back and kissed her hair. "It's not gonna hurt you, I'll make sure of that."  
  
"But, but-"  
  
"I know it's loud but it won't hurt. You know that just as much as I do. Besides, I'll protect you." He held her closer and pulled her back onto his lap, holding her sideways as she put her hands around his neck, cuddling into the crook between his neck and shoulder.  
  
"I feel like a child. This is so immature and such an irrational fear."  
  
"It's okay, I have an irrational fear of small spaces. Even remotely small. Or if I'm closed in somewhere."  
  
"Am I too close?" She asked cautiously.  
  
He smiled down at her. "No, you can't get to close baby." He leaned down and kissed her slow and softy, until a clap of thunder directly overhead caused Margaret to shiver and suddenly there was a downpour of rain. "Ah, shit!" Hawkeye mumbled. The rain was coming down hard and fast, and didn't show signs of being a small shower. He knew it would last. "Be back in a sec." He jumped out and got his bag, pulling out his army camouflaged poncho raincoat. He opened it up and spread it over their heads, so they were completely inside.  
  
"Hawkeye, is it too dark, or small or anything?"  
  
"No, for some reason, blankets over my head never bothered me. I always used to make tents as a kid out of sheets and stuff, I loved it. Besides, it really doesn't bother me when there's light." With that he clicked on his flashlight. "We can tell ghost stories and hold up the light like this." He held the light up to his face and pretended to laugh evilly.  
  
Margaret laughed. "Give me that." She went to grab it and he pulled back so she fell on him. They started to giggle before they realized they were laughing loudly underneath a raincoat with enlisted men around them.  
  
Hawkeye grabbed her and kissed her before holding her close. "We should go to sleep now."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They were silent for a few moments in which Hawkeye finally got to think. With all that had been happening with Margaret and now with BJ, he never got to reflect, and it suddenly hit him that BJ was seriously injured.  
  
He sighed. "I wonder how BJ is. I guess Potter and Charles are taking care of him. God it's all my fault! I was supposed to go up to the front this time! Stokes said he could tell it was a landmine on the road that exploded. Unfortunately he's seen a lot of those. And if I had gone BJ would be perfectly fine now!" He continued rambling about it when Margaret put a finger to his lips.  
  
"Hawkeye, it's not your fault. You have to understand that. You were ordered to stay and operate on that kid with the chest wound. It's your specialty. Being the chief surgeon here and the best damn doctor I've ever seen, I know you were that kid's best chance of survival."  
  
"But what if...what if because of that...BJ's..." His voice broke. "BJ's chance of survival..." He trailed off.  
  
"Oh, Hawk..." She hugged him closer to her. "Listen, you may be the best damn doctor, but Charles and Potter are close seconds. They will pull him through. BJ will be fine."  
  
Hawkeye looked at her straight into her blue eyes with his clouded blue eyes, which were normally so bright. "You don't know that."  
  
Margaret sighed and looked straight back at him. "No, I don't know that for sure, but I know the Colonel's and Charles' abilities, and I am aware of BJ's injuries. And he WILL pull through. And so will we."  
  
His eyes watered. "If anything happens, it is my fault. He's my best friend." He choked out.  
  
"Hawkeye, come here." She leaned forward and cuddled into him. "Get some sleep baby, and hopefully by morning we can go home, and we'll see BJ. I'm sure they'll let him be your patient, even if you didn't take care of him when he arrived there."  
  
"Yeah. Will you be my nurse?" She looked at him. "I mean BJ's nurse, well you help me with BJ."  
  
"I'd be honoured."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You okay now?"  
  
"Well, hopefully."  
  
"Good. Not to sound mean to BJ, but we can't dwell on it, we must talk about other things too. For example, if you really want me to, I can be your nurse too."  
  
He raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Just what did you have in mind?"  
  
"Maybe when we can get back, I can give you a physical. But for now, I'll just give you a quick check up." She leaned forward and kissed him, her tongue opening his mouth, exploring his, and wrestling with his own tongue. They both breathed in the scent of each other, breathing heavily and moaning, they rubbed each other's backs, and stroked the other's hair as they got closer and closer.  
  
"Wait." Hawkeye stopped them.  
  
"I know."  
  
"We can't."  
  
"I know, I'm not ready either."  
  
He smiled at her. "Good. You comfy?" He was now stretched out on the seat, lying down against the door with his legs hanging out the side, with Margaret lying on top of him.  
  
"Very. Are you?"  
  
"I always am with a beautiful blonde on top of me."  
  
She smacked him playfully. "Shut up," and kissed him.  
  
He was quiet for a moment and he sighed. "God, I really wish I had a magazine with me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, we were, uh, well, playing..." He trailed off.  
  
She smacked his chest again. "You're disgusting!" "I know." He smiled cheekily.  
  
Margaret rolled her eyes, smiled and kissed him softly and quickly. "Goodnight, again."  
  
"Goodnight baby." He kissed her quickly and soon they were asleep with Margaret lying on top of Hawkeye, completely underneath his rain jacket.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!*  
  
Hawkeye woke up to find Margaret snuggled into him, her head resting on his chest. He smiled for a moment, at the sight of the blonde beauty sleeping on him. He tried to move his arm and realized he was very stiff. That's when he remembered, he had spent the night sitting up in the back seat of a jeep. He thought for a moment, shook his head, and the thoughts of seeing BJ unconscious under the jeep came back to him. It was then he heard the radio.  
  
"Rubber duckies this is Momma bear! Come in ducks!" Radar called. He searched for the walkie talkie as easily as he could without waking up Margaret and found it on the floor. She woke up when he started to talk, but kept silent so she could hear everything.  
  
"This is the ducks, Momma bear. Hawkeye here, was going on Radar?"  
  
"Sir, the shelling's stopped now and the MPs have given you the okay to come on home."  
  
"How's BJ?"  
  
Radar was silent for a moment. "Uh, sir, Colonel Potter said he's gonna talk to you when you get back."  
  
"Oh my God, Radar, is he okay?" Static blared from the radio. "Radar? RADAR!!!" He shouted into the radio. "RADAR! Come on Momma bear! Come on!!! How's BJ??"  
  
"Hawkeye?" He jumped when he heard Margaret. "We gotta get home. BJ will be fine." "How do you know that?"  
  
"I don't. But we have to get home."  
  
"Right. I'll get the enlisted up."  
  
"I'll go. I get results. They're all scared of me." Margaret said with a sad smile as she jumped down and started yelling to the troops.  
  
With Margaret's yelling they sprang into action and in no time the caravan was making it's way down the road, Hawkeye and Margaret's jeep in front.  
  
"Hawk, would you slow down?!" Margaret said as they flew over a large pothole, causing her to cling onto him to stay in the jeep. "You're gonna get us killed!"  
  
"I got to get home to Beej," Was all he said and he pressed the gas harder to the floor.  
  
In record time, they could see the camp ahead and before the jeep stopped completely Hawkeye jumped out and ran into Potter's office.  
  
"Colonel! How's Beej?" He asked as he ran in, only to see the office empty. Radar followed him in. "Sir? They're in surgery now."  
  
"Oh, God. But wouldn't they have done that yesterday?"  
  
The small corporal shook his head sadly. "No sir. They had to stabilize him first before it was safe."  
  
"Oh my God. I gotta go scrub."  
  
"Well, Hawk.... Colonel Potter told me not to let you go in there."  
  
"WHAT?! Why the fuck not?!" He wasn't mad at Radar, but the comment hurt him deeply. "He's my BEST friend!! Doesn't that mean ANYTHING?"  
  
"Sir, I'm just telling you what he said. I can go talk to him, but he asked me not to let you in the OR." "That's BULLSHIT!" He cried.  
  
Margaret ran into the office. "What's going on? Pierce, I heard you yelling, what's the matter?"  
  
"That Bastard won't let me into see my friend!"  
  
"Pierce! Corporal is this true?"  
  
"Ma'am Colonel Potter told me to not let him in the OR."  
  
"Pierce, he's only acting on his orders! Don't get mad at him. Radar, can I go talk to the Colonel?"  
  
"He told me you could, but he'd rather I talked to him so, uh, well," He looked at Hawkeye who was seething. He whispered, "He wants you to watch Captain Pierce."  
  
"WHAT? I don't need a damn babysitter! I deserve to see my friend!!"  
  
"Hawkeye, please, just sit down." She sat him on Radar's bunk. "Corporal, could you talk to Colonel Potter?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." He tied on a surgical mask and went through to the OR.  
  
"Hawkeye, please calm down. Now, Radar is just following orders."  
  
"But why the hell can't I go and see Beej?"  
  
"Hawkeye-"  
  
"Look, I am the best damn surgeon in this camp! I'm chief surgeon!"  
  
"Hawkeye, there are patients in the next room, please!" He started yelling and she kissed him quickly. He stopped for a moment and looked at her. "Look at me Hawkeye. I know you are the best surgeon here. Better than Potter and a hell of a lot better than Charles. But, look at the circumstances. He is your best friend. The colonel is just looking out for you... in case something happens, Hawkeye, you know, we don't want-"  
  
"You're afraid it will be like Tommy, aren't you? He was my best friend. But I got over that. And BJ wouldn't die, he can't die!"  
  
"Hawkeye, let's go into my tent and just... wait it out."  
  
"I can't." He stood up and started to pace.  
  
"Sirs Ma'am?" Radar came back into his office with them. "I spoke to Colonel Potter, he said it's too early to tell anything about BJ-er-Captain Hunnicutt's condition. But he wants you two to go get some rest. And we'll come get you as soon as we know anything."  
  
Hawkeye opened his mouth to retaliate and Margaret cut him off. "Thank you Corporal, that will be fine." She stood up in her Major-ly stance and took Hawkeye's hand. "Come along Pierce."  
  
The pair went into the head nurse's tent and the second the door closed behind him Margaret burst into tears, wrapping her arms around Hawkeye's neck and burying her face in his chest. He held back the tears and wrapped his arms around her waist. Soon he couldn't hold it in any longer and the tears poured out of his eyes as he put his face in her hair. Slowly, he guided them over so they were sitting on the cot. He gathered her in his arms and sat against the corner between the wall and her dresser, holding her in his lap.  
  
He rubbed her back. "We'll get through this." He whispered.  
  
"I'm so scared, Hawkeye."  
  
"So am I, Margaret. But we'll get through this together. I love you."  
  
"I love you too." She said against his chest. "But, I love BJ too. Not in the same way, but I love him! You two are my best friends, Hawkeye!"  
  
"I know, I know. I've had best friends that I grew up with, but people I've known for all 27 years of my life I'm not as close to as BJ. We've known each other for almost two years and it feels like forever."  
  
She sniffed. "I know. But..."  
  
"He'll get through this." He finished.  
  
She looked up at him. "He will." He kissed her slowly, but didn't hold on. It wasn't the right time or place, and neither was in the mood.  
  
They spent the next few hours together, holding each other on the cot, talking about BJ and their past with him, the good and the bad. About Erin and Peg, but it made them sad to think about them, and what could happen to them if, well, they couldn't say it. If something ever *happened* to BJ. They laughed a few times but mostly cried together, and held each other as tight as they could. After four hours, the tent now dark as the sun had started to set, a knock came on the door.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"It's Radar, ma'am. Where's Captain Pierce?"  
  
"He's in here, Corporal. What do you need?"  
  
"The Colonel wishes to speak to the two of you."  
  
Hawkeye and Margaret exchanged looks of fear, and reassuringly, he squeezed her hand as he stood up. "Come on." He led her out of the tent and towards the doors to the scrub room, where Charles and Colonel Potter were coming out of, walking very slowly, with somber faces.  
  
"Colonel Potter, what's-how's-umm-what-?" Hawkeye didn't know what to ask.  
  
Potter slowly pulled off his surgical gloves and looked at the couple, holding onto the other's arm, not daring to let go.  
  
"Well-" The older doctor stated. 


End file.
